A very sad story hit PerthNorg this morning - Momofuku Ando, the founder-chairman of Nissin Food Products Co, who was widely known as the inventor of instant noodles, died of a heart failure this evening at a hospital in Ikeda, Osaka Prefecture, his family said. He was 96.
Rest in peace noodle man.
RAmen.
Ahh yes, the boys from the Eclectic Boogaloo are back on the radio - if you don’t know who they are….
well…. lucky you.
catch them through the website at twincitiesfm.com.au
or try the link below if you’re lucky:
if you are in the northern suburbs, tune into 89.7fm on the wireless.
oh.. by now, I mean NOW… Monday 10PM to whenever the hell they want.. usually midnight.
so listen.
request music.
enjoy.
Now for the Perthies out there, Little Birdy will be having a free show for all who attend (well, almost all who attend - limited numbers)… I’d say this is a GRUM EXCLUSIVE but the buggers beat me to the punch and stuck a post on the net about it.
It is happening THIS FRIDAY 12th Jan - the location is hush hush until closer to the day. So keep an eye on my site, I might just tell you where it is before the official announcement..
OK.. 2:06AM and I’m done….
ugh that was messy. the server shat itself, I lost everything, the backups were corrupted and I developed a drinking problem..
but all is sorted now…
there were a few casualties, my Bali blogs are all out of order again, but I’ll just post one for you after this to please the hardcore readers out there (you know who you are) and I think I’ve lost a couple of posts that I made this week… otherwise everything else seems fine.
now… I must stab microsoft..
just upgrading database software and a bunch of server stuff…
keep an eye on http://twitter.com/grum for updates..
EDIT: I think everything is back to normal…. phew.
whoops.. this post was deleted when my server was down for maintenance..
my bad.
In February I’ll be off to get myself a Wii….
well, that’s what I thought until I saw this:
now…. I’m all confused..
Hi, my name is Grum ….. and I am a Guitar Hero addict.
A few readers have eMailed me asking how my trip to Indonesia is going - well, I’ve been back in the country for about 2 months now..
The reason for my “Indoblog” posts going up now is because I wrote about 30 articles whilst overseas on my palm pilot but could not post them as I didn’t bring the software required to load the content to the net. Unfortunately in the meantime a hard drive crash killed the posts which I have only recently resurrected.
Although I’ve lost a few posts, the majority of the stuff will be uploaded over the next fortnight.
Hopefully that clears up the confusion :)
G
PS. Nominations for the 2007 bloggies and the 2007 Australian Blog Awards are open now. If you loved me, you’d nominate me :)
Just a few minutes ago, an eMail dropped into my Sidekick, awakening me.
When I got up, the yogurt which earlier I rested on my naked manly chest tipped over, covering my lap in delicious creamery Brownes strawberry yogurt. I had fallen asleep whilst watching Family Guy and feasting on foodstuffs I had recently plundered from the local Woolworths.
And by plunder, I mean purchased.
And by Woolworths, I mean Coles.
As I finished off the rest of my strawberry crotchgurt, I grabbed my Sidekick again and scrolled through the messages.. A Bunch of Myspace friend requests, 1 spam eMail about buying Viagra, a reminder that the next Perth flashmob will be on the 3rd of Feb (I’ve got a bit of insider info - it’s gonna be awesome!) and finally an eMail from 25peeps.com.
Subject: You’re on 25peeps.com!
Well, fancy that..
I logged on, lo and behold - there I was on the front page of the prestigious site.
Ain’t that just swell.
Widdle ol’ me…
Shucks.
Ah well, thought I’d share with you all my fame and glory, as I all know you want to get a hold of grum’s gloryhole..
what exactly IS a gloryhole?
Oh…. wait…. I just figured it out.
I guess not that many of you really do want to get hold of it afterall… I mean, its not like half of Perth already has…
G
PS. Support me being me and go to 25peeps.com, look at me on the front page then go off and do something interesting like knit a cashew sweater. They’re really hard to make cos them cashews don’t have arms.
Yeah yeah yeah.. I’m sick yet again.
as pointed out by a friend of mine, it possibly has something to do with my life long battle with insomnia… I choose to accept that as the fact, and not the possibilities that I’ve just been running my body in the ground with a poor diet, erratic parties and the copious amounts of unnatural chemicals I put into myself.
And before you females go on about me whining about how us men always complain when they’re sick - we blokes have to put up with your wingings and bickerings every bloody month. I know for a fact that I don’t get sick that much. So until I start pissing out a layer of body material in the form of blood clots and sticky slime stuff - don’t bitch to me about my problems.
Yeah, grum in bad mood.
It all started Monday - I was exhausted, it was like I had been on a 7 day heroin binge and I was on the world hardest comedown. This continues for a few more days till Thursday hit - I noticed a sore throat yet I had no reason to have one. Usually ill get this when I’ve been out to a loud venue, smoke too much or gargle draino, I’d get this.. But this is different.
Thursday night I was ready to go out to my mate’s band play at the Floreat. Sporting a bit of a headache, I decided to sneak in a quick nanna nap before going out. This quick nap lasted till the next morning. I jumped out of bed thanks to the alarm clock and tried to get into the shower… Then it all hit me at once.. Before I could reach the ensuite door, the room started spinning and I found myself lying in a pile of my clothes on the floor of my warddrobe. An hour passed and I knew i ‘d pass the point of no return so I had to call work.
Upon realisation of this fact I gulped and crawled to the bedside desk… Except I hit a snag with that concept at the first part - when I gulped, it felt I was deep throating a pick axe wrapped in barbed wire. I yelped - it hurt so I yelped again - it hurt more. So much for that idea.
As I lie on the floor in a shivering mess, mobile in 1 hand and a tissue in the other to mop up the drool on my face, I decide to email work my notice, given I have lost the ability to use my throat whatsoever.
As I hit the send button, I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep…
2 days later - that’s right, 48 hours later I find myself in bed, well enough to get up and go to a doctor. At this point I look like a homeless bum who has just been sodomised with a rusty chainsaw but I didn’t care. I needed drugs. I needed drugs badly.
And if some of those drugs happen to help me, that’s just tops.
After nearly passing out from the walk from the car to the reception of the doctors surgery, I sit waiting alongside a granny who has torn her achilies thingy, a kid who seemed to be suffering from whooping cough and a teen who was playing basketball and managed to get his thumb lodged in a rusty fence. 40 mins pass, I get admitted - 2 mins later I walk out with my script and doctor’s certificate.
Realising it was Saturday at 8pm I knew the cost would be high so I pulled off a trick and managed to charge the whole $80 (that’s right, for a 2 min consult) to Medicare. ahh, I love scamming the system. I skipped off, tripped over myself and thought I’d better just walk back to the car and drive to the chemist.
After leaving the chemists, I was interrupted by a bunch of girls who looked like they were about 6 years old each. Evidently they were a bit older as one of them asked me to get them a pregnancy test kit. Apparently one of them goes to school with Mark, one of the cashiers at the chemist and doesn’t want their social status tainted. I accepted the challenge and refused the $5 they offered in compensation. I went in, paid for the stuff and then left. While handing over the goods and the change, I casually quipped “oh, Mark saw you two and he says hi”. With this I got into my car, drove off and watched the two teens freak out in my rear view mirror.
Naturally, Mark didn’t see the girls - well, he has by now as the last time I saw them, they ran into the chemists.
So… Here I am. In bed. My throat is bleeding into itself with a strange mixture of puss, blood and some green slimy stuff. I doubt I will be able to leave the house for Christmas, which plain sucks because I had a perfect schedule of fitting 5 free meals into my day.. I’ll prolly be well enough for work but not likely for New Years. Ugh great start to 2007.
wow.. that was like.. really hard to type.. I’m gonna have another nap now.
Whilst sitting at work one day, bored shitless with nothing to do, I decided to jump online and hassle other people equally as bored as I. I managed to find someone who was almost in a comatose state due to boredom so I challenged this person to write me a blogpost and I got the following rant about the state of WA politics. Most of you who know me know that I love my pollies and all their wacky antics, so I found the post a bit of a titter. If you want to have a punt at writing a blog post, but find you have the skills but no ability to create more than 1 post a month - then bump the article over my way. If I like, I post.
enjoy.
——–
I just can’t let go of all of the corruption scandals in both State and Federal politics that has been reported by sexy Sue and ravishing Rick on Channel 7 news of late.
The smugness of media presenters whilst reading these stories on the nightly news, was the first tip off that something is totally wrong… The smugness is caused by the simple truth that the media thinks that they are actually whistleblowing and holding parliaments accountable – however, they couldn’t be further from the truth. True whistleblowing, ethically defined, is reporting a subset of corrupt individuals within an organisation. It is definitely not whistleblowing when you’re just complaining about one corrupt individual (state politics, as shown with the Marlborough case) and it is not whistleblowing if the entire organisation is corrupt (federal politics…with just about everything). Therefore, the news is not whistleblowing, nor is it a tool to keep those in public office accountable to the public… it is just simply entertainment. It is a satire on those in the public life. Therefore, if you do not giggle uncontrollably whilst watching the news, or reading the newspaper, this means that you have no sense of humour, and do not appreciate satirical humour. SO LAUGH PEOPLE.
Next we must look at the definition of corruption. According to my reliable internet google search, is “use of a position of trust for dishonest gain”. However, I just can’t condone the sacking of Ministers and the like over corruption using this definition – after all, nearly all people in positions of power and trust, need to deceive the public just a little bit.
Otherwise, there would be worldwide panic when the mass public realised that in fact, North Korea has weapons of mutually assured destruction that could kill us all with the press of a button…Or that George Bush really is a bumbling idiot that does not have basic intelligence, and is really just a puppet, whose strings are pulled by weirdo policy advisors that have been smoking too much crack…wha? We already know this? Why aren’t we panicking?
This brings me to my final point – there are very clever people in the private sector, for example, brothel owners – why can’t these people lead the country? The reason is because if you pay peanuts, such as the wages offered to those considering entering public office, you get monkeys. Monkeys open to corruption, and bribery from those outside of politics. Sex pays better, so they choose to stay in that industry.
So in conclusion, don’t pay any attention to the news, or what people in public office are doing – just keep laughing, and vote to INCREASE politicians wages. And I assure you, it will all work out in the end.
We’ll have a parliament full of crack whores and bumbling idiots…
oh wait… too late.
I just went through my mail - 70 billions bills, disconnection notices, porno mags and 1 fan mail.
The letter was a single empty envelope from San Francisco. I’d scan it, but that would involve me getting out of bed. The front looked like any sort of letter. The back was a message written in black marker…
It read:
YOU FUCKING RULE.
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR
YOU SICK PERVERT.
I LOVE YOU
Well, to whoever you are - I love you too.
yes, I haven’t posted… mainly cos i haven’t actually been home for more than 60 mins this weekend.
The weekend has landed. All that exists now is clubs, drugs, pubs and parties. I’ve got 48 hours off from the wo… wait a sec. no, wrong random ramble… lets start again.
The weekend has landed and so has December.
Whoop-dee-fucking-doo.
December. the thorn in my side… god I hate and love this month at the same time. the most expensive month, the most drunken month and the most boring month.
Expensive because of Christmas as well as a handful of birthdays that I can’t just hide under a rock from. Drunken thanks to all the summer parties, raves and gigs that are usually on and the most boring given my workplace is open every weekday aside from the public holidays - yet business dies in the ass so I’ll be sitting there, doing absafuckinglutely nothing except sipping from the bottle of whiskey I keep hidden from the boss and shooting up heroin in the staff amenities room.
No, I don’t do heroin work.
That was a private joke.
We do lines of coke off the naked stomach of Japanese school girls.
Thankfully December starts off with a bang. December 1 is world AIDS day. ITs a glorious day where you run around pretending that you care about all those people out there dying because they were stupid enough to be born in some diseased African tribe. pfft. morons.
Shit, its the 2nd of December now.. I forgot to celebrate…
hold on..
YAY! WOO! I DON’T HAVE THE AIDS! WHOOPIE! SUCKED IN YOU STUPID AFRICAN WHORES!
righto.. done.
Whats that? Oh, I’m allowed to say that. I’m part African whore.
After the 1st of December is over, the weekend hits so December 2 and 3 is pretty much a blur. I’m sure there is quite possibly something interesting on those days but I’m too busy watching softcore porn on the telly..
Mmmmm Asia Carrera you spicy minx. When are you ever young to call me again?
Uh, lets just say December 4 is the day to celebrate the creation cellophane paper… Well, I’m sure it wasn’t last year, but this year I’m declaring it.
So go out and celebrate it you stuck up bastards!
The final day of celebration before the stress of Christmas hit the psyche of all clinically depressed, thus pushing them over the edge of self annihilation, is December 5.
Now we all know what December 5 is right people?
Oh come on, I’ve been pimping this out for days now…
It’s the day of Ninja, you glutenous masturbatory half-wits. Pfft. honestly, don’t you lot pay attention?
Ever since I posted the blog about this momentous day, I’ve been getting eMails from people who seem to enjoy in taking the time writing eMails instead of actually visiting the official site and reading the answers to their questions there.
So, I’ve got a fancy schmancy video for you.
Well, I did - but Myspace won’t let me post it… It was Pirates, the greatest porno ever produced to this date. I was going to post it to show you all the brilliance of what pirates are - just to level the playing field… I don’t particularly want to get into the pirates vs. ninjas arguments.
We all know lumberjacks pwn all ninjas and pirates.
So perhaps instead of posting pirate porn, I’ll post a pretty podcast. Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers; A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked; If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, Where’s the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked you pompous pirate porn purveyor? Oh Peter Piper, place that purple pickled pulsating penis into Penny Pettleson’s puckered poo hole, but practice penetrating Penny Pettleson’s poop chute politely and patiently. Please?
It’s educational. It’ll tell you all about the Day of the Ninja for all you Nonjas out there. Watch carefully, I might make you take a test afterwards.
No… quite possibly ill just sit here and scratch myself for a while..
they don’t make $2 whores like they used to….
Thats completely unrelated to the previous statement.. I was just making a random observation.
no honest.. completely random.. I don’t have genital lice… There isn’t any hair down there!
Thank you Epilady.
oh right.. the movie.
gotcha.
This weekend I have issued a challenge to myself - to not leave the confines of my house whatsoever between 6PM Friday and 1AM Monday.
So far I’ve caught up with my back log of Daily Show episodes which I had IQed, finished reading the last issue of Men’s Style, clocked Guitar Hero on hard difficulty, spent 30 mins re-organising my unsorted collection of mp3s (2,000 down, 15,000 to go) and tidied up the address book on my mobile.
To my shock, I realised that my address book was only 6% full. Obviously the people at Sharp Corporation know their stuff when they created a phone with a capacity of 2000 entries - it is quite apparent in my assumption that they have done many cultural surveys which indicated to them that the average mobile phone owner has got at least 1500 entries in their address book (assuming they allow a 25% variance for the ultra popular).
Whats worse is that many of the entries are incomplete - I’ve got numbers listed as “Blonde from Rise”, “Justin the coke guy” and “Creepy dude from Twin cities”. So right now, I’m feeling sad and very vulnerable.. not to mention slightly hungry, thirsty and I still have a sore elbow from the big brother auditions.
I suppose the only way to snap me out of this deep depression is to fill my phone book with the numbers of all my friends - but how am I to get all these number when I’m stuck at home?
Oh woe is me. Life is too hard.
Don’t get me wrong, I always thought the number of people in my address book was a respectable figure, but those corporate types at Sharp know what they’re doing - thats why they get paid the big bucks. And don’t assume this has anything to do with the bet I just made with James saying I could get at least 10 phone numbers off people I haven’t met in person before without even having to leave the confines of my lounge room (based on the the fact that I am such a sex god n’ all).
No… nothing to do with that…
*cough*
whoops.. I mean, *boo hoo* my tiny book is making me all sad and teary.
Y’know that feeling you get in your chest when you watched “The Notebook” for the first time? When they kiss for the first time and the music swells up?
Yeah, I got that now, except instead of the warm cozy feeling of hope and love, all I feel is stabbing knife pains and acidic vapor burns.
*sob*
G
PS. To those stupid enough not to read between the lines - eMail me your mobile number NOW ya doofus! I’ve got $10 riding on this.
Ever since I’ve been pimping out the Perth flash mobs, I’ve had a few people asking me what one actually is or how I came up with the concept.
I’d like to make one thing clear - I’m not the brains behind the Perth operation - I simply don’t have the time or patience. It is actually run by a friend of a friend of a friend (yes, one of those). I heard about flash mobs a few years ago and have always been eager to start organising one - but these guys have beat me to the punch.
So what exactly is a flash mob?
Quite simply put, its where a group of people suddenly assemble in a public place, do something unusual for a brief period of time, and then quickly disperse.
The Perth ones have been fairly small in comparison to ones that have run around the world, but thankfully word is spreading and they’re just getting bigger and better. Yes, I’m almost 30 - I really should be responsible and tell people off for making a public nuisance of themselves… nah. fuck that. its damn good fun.
In case you hadn’t noticed, I have a habit of bring attention to myself in public for shits n’ giggles.
I’ve been tracking flash mobs for quite some time, so I’ll share with you some of my personal favorites:
There have been a lot more, but those are the ones I could think of at 1 in the morning :)
That endeth the lesson. For more info on the Perth Flash mobs, check the website and their blog out - don’t forget to sign up for their alert system, to get event details eMailed as well as SMSed to you.
G
PS. Whilst youre signing up to the do or DIY list, sign up to twitter and add me. It makes me feel good. You DO love me right?
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