Cranial Vomit

This weekend I have issued a challenge to myself - to not leave the confines of my house whatsoever between 6PM Friday and 1AM Monday.

So far I’ve caught up with my back log of Daily Show episodes which I had IQed, finished reading the last issue of Men’s Style, clocked Guitar Hero on hard difficulty, spent 30 mins re-organising my unsorted collection of mp3s (2,000 down, 15,000 to go) and tidied up the address book on my mobile.

To my shock, I realised that my address book was only 6% full. Obviously the people at Sharp Corporation know their stuff when they created a phone with a capacity of 2000 entries - it is quite apparent in my assumption that they have done many cultural surveys which indicated to them that the average mobile phone owner has got at least 1500 entries in their address book (assuming they allow a 25% variance for the ultra popular).

Whats worse is that many of the entries are incomplete - I’ve got numbers listed as “Blonde from Rise”, “Justin the coke guy” and “Creepy dude from Twin cities”. So right now, I’m feeling sad and very vulnerable.. not to mention slightly hungry, thirsty and I still have a sore elbow from the big brother auditions.

I suppose the only way to snap me out of this deep depression is to fill my phone book with the numbers of all my friends - but how am I to get all these number when I’m stuck at home?

Oh woe is me. Life is too hard.

Don’t get me wrong, I always thought the number of people in my address book was a respectable figure, but those corporate types at Sharp know what they’re doing - thats why they get paid the big bucks. And don’t assume this has anything to do with the bet I just made with James saying I could get at least 10 phone numbers off people I haven’t met in person before without even having to leave the confines of my lounge room (based on the the fact that I am such a sex god n’ all).

No… nothing to do with that…

*cough*

whoops.. I mean, *boo hoo* my tiny book is making me all sad and teary.

Y’know that feeling you get in your chest when you watched “The Notebook” for the first time? When they kiss for the first time and the music swells up?

Yeah, I got that now, except instead of the warm cozy feeling of hope and love, all I feel is stabbing knife pains and acidic vapor burns.

*sob*

G

PS. To those stupid enough not to read between the lines - eMail me your mobile number NOW ya doofus! I’ve got $10 riding on this.

Ever since I’ve been pimping out the Perth flash mobs, I’ve had a few people asking me what one actually is or how I came up with the concept.

I’d like to make one thing clear - I’m not the brains behind the Perth operation - I simply don’t have the time or patience. It is actually run by a friend of a friend of a friend (yes, one of those). I heard about flash mobs a few years ago and have always been eager to start organising one - but these guys have beat me to the punch.

So what exactly is a flash mob?

Quite simply put, its where a group of people suddenly assemble in a public place, do something unusual for a brief period of time, and then quickly disperse.

The Perth ones have been fairly small in comparison to ones that have run around the world, but thankfully word is spreading and they’re just getting bigger and better. Yes, I’m almost 30 - I really should be responsible and tell people off for making a public nuisance of themselves… nah. fuck that. its damn good fun.

In case you hadn’t noticed, I have a habit of bring attention to myself in public for shits n’ giggles.

I’ve been tracking flash mobs for quite some time, so I’ll share with you some of my personal favorites:

• The escalator mob - enough people to fill two escalators continually go up and down an escalator. Fairly simple byt very amusing to watch - and incredibly annoying to anyone attempting to get on the escalator… gee, i said escalators a lot just then.. it just lost all meaning.
• Costume mobs - imagine sitting in the city sipping a hot cup of coffee and suddenly 200 zombies stumble past you.. or whatabout a horde of people in santa costumes?
• Slow motion mobs - pack a shop with people shopping, but in ssslllooowwww motion.
• Fight mobs - everyone brings a pillow for a pillow fight, or a can of shaving cream for a cream fight.. water balloons.. styrofoam peanuts etc.
• Rave mobs - I’ve heard of 2 variants to this. One where a group fill a train/subway dressed in rave gear and dance to music from a portable stereo. The other I’ve heard of is where everyone is listening to the same radio station through headphones and dance in sync - completely bewildering onlookers who can’t hear the music.
• Strip mobs- a large group of people simply strip down to their underwear in the middle of a crowded mall
• Protest mobs- an impromptu street protest erupts with each person holding up signs and chanting protests for absurd topics like “Kittens are NOT cute” and “God hates the French!”
• Impersonator mobs - people dressing up like staff of a store, completely mystifying customers as well as other staff

There have been a lot more, but those are the ones I could think of at 1 in the morning :)

That endeth the lesson. For more info on the Perth Flash mobs, check the website and their blog out - don’t forget to sign up for their alert system, to get event details eMailed as well as SMSed to you.

G

PS. Whilst youre signing up to the do or DIY list, sign up to twitter and add me. It makes me feel good. You DO love me right?