Cranial Vomit

Young 17 year old Clarissa just eMailed me to say she is astonished by the amount of smut and depravity i put in my posts on a nightly basis.

Unfortunately, I know little Clarissa in real life, so I can’t exactly tell her to fuck off and die in a Balinese prison whilst getting sodomised by a beach seller trying to sell her a Paul Frank knockoff handbag….

Cos thats whats prolly gonna happen to me this time next month….

Karma’s a bitch.

In an attempt at getting me to lower my vulgarity, she has offered me a challenge.

A challenge so cunning that it has me hooked.

It has me caught in a web of curiosity that I can’t escape.

With this challenge, I am but a lonely mouse pinned under a spring loaded piece of wire and I realise that I am paralised by this mousetrap and shall die a painful death involving starvation, whilst a morsel of cheese sits only millimeters away from my furry little nose.. yet completely out of reach.. i must have the cheeeeeese.. the cheeeeeeeeseeeee…… uh.. where was I?

I seem to loose track of my thoughts when delicious trapcheese is involved.

Mmmm cheese.

Anyways, the challenge is - if I am able to last until the Saturday after next without being rude or perverted on any Myspace bulletin…….

she will show me her boobs.

Thats right.

Her boobs.

So uh.. I bid all of you a farewell and er… if you were hoping for some sick and twisted grumness… well.. umm Just uh.. subscribe to my blog instead…

peace out.

G

actually.. NO!…

TWO can play at this game.

This is a message to YOU - the Myspace community.

If you like what I say in these bulletins and want me to continue with my usual shenanigans - make me a BETTER offer than Carissa’s.

I don’t care what is is. It just has to be better than teenage boobs.

Yes, I know there are only a few things in the world that could defeat the power of teenage boobs - even Kryptonite is rendered useless when placed next to a perfect form of perky, supple young barely legal funbags…

So there… The challenge is out there for YOU, MYSPACE!

I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT TIGER!

So send me the solution to my problems! I don’t care WHAT it is, just DO IT NOW! E-Mail me, IM me or even send something to me in the post.. All addresses are on my profile. You MUST rise to the challenge and crush these delicious melons of doom!

Please.. don’t do it for me….

Do it for your COUNTRY.